Moving beyond first base - now that's one chauvinistic term if I ever heard one. Just like men to use metaphors taken from a game to define different levels of sexual activity! So is 'getting there' all just a game or is it about being in love?
My teenage cousin sauntered into my room the other day wanting to know what 'first base' meant. Time to get educated dude, I thought. So what are bases all about? To put it in the plainest language:
First base generally refers to holding hands, arms around shoulders, peck on the cheek, lip kissing and French kissing. While most platonic relationships allow for the first three, you know you've crossed the line to being more than 'just friends' when lip kissing or French 
kissing happens.
Second base usually refers to fondling and manual stimulation. At this stage, you're definitely NOT friends! Third base is manual stimulation of the genitals and homerun means going all the way as in having vaginal intercourse. He's pretty satisfied with the explanation. I didn't need to explain each of the terms to him, as he was aware of them. It's sad that kids these days are exposed to a lot of sex on satellite television and cinema.
Unfortunately for them, they're getting the wrong kind of 'education.' Being in a relationship and getting intimate is not what relationships are about. Getting intimate is NOT an option for pubescent kids with raging hormones. For God's sake, they're just discovering the changes in their bodies - why complicate by trying to discover someone else's?! Even worse, if they do get intimate, (which is what kids with raging hormones do... it's natural) you can't go around thinking you're competing with your partner in a race to get there - terms like first base only make one feel like its guy vs. girl and how far the guy gets - its definitely not about expressing one's feelings or about being in love!
"So should one move beyond first base?" comes the next question. Well, if you think you're ready to handle the emotions and feel that your relationship has that depth to handle what goes with increased sexual activity, then give it a shot. But to be honest, I don't think fifteen year olds are thinking about either depth or emotions. But I've been there, done that... I know he's going to try it even if I tell him not to. So I give him some practical advice... Move on to second base ONLY if you
Rule 1: Talk about the sexual activity that you have engaged in so far and ask her what she really feels about all this. If it's fooling around, which I think is NOT the case with most girls, (even though they're at that stage where they want to experiment and discover), then she'll probably have a couple of things to say if she hasn't already said them before. Start with questions about your relationship - your expectations, her expectations, whether she's ok with the way things are going. Most girls these days are outspoken, so they'll tell if they're not ok. So remember, if she says no, she means NO. Even if she were just teasing, you'd rather stick to NO as its safer! Talking about sex needs a level of emotional maturity and if both of you are able to have a conversation without bursting into giggles, blushing furiously or squirming uncomfortably.
Rule 2: Give each other time. Get to know each other better before you get around to groping each other! I'm not talking so much about physical time - of course, that makes a difference, I'm referring to time and space so you know what the other person likes, dislikes, feels and thinks. Get to know your partner as a friend first before you explore other facets of your budding relationship. And most importantly, respect each other - if you haven't thought of respect or don't think its important, then you'd better "stay on the bench" as they say in baseball!
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