Their ‘act’ of togetherness has almost 33 years behind them-26 years of marriage and seven years of knowing each other before that.

From considering him as ‘somebody larger than life’, to gradually becoming friends, for wife Ratna Pathak Shah the journey has been all about ‘accepting and loving’ husband Naseeruddinn Shah for the person he is.

A prelude to love

Ratna recalls what initially pulled her towards Naseer, “The beard has played a very important role in our coming together. It was Naseer’s beard and his dark John Lenon-like glasses, which caught my attention when I saw him rehearsing for a play. I thought ‘that’s a cool guy’.”

For a ‘struggling’ Naseer who came to Mumbai three decades ago, Ratna’s presence in his life ‘brought stability and confidence’.

“The fact that I had somebody who believed in me and said ‘yes’ to me when I had no future, was not a small thing,” he asserts. Ratna reveals, “Naseer has seen a very successful marriage between his parents. If anything, I was unsure how the marriage would work,” says Ratna who came from ‘a slightly troubled home’.

What Naseer values immensely about Ratna is that she made him ‘value’ his family.

“She has been instrumental in rehabilitating Heeba (Naseer’s daughter from his first marriage) and making her a welladjusted person. Heeba was a troubled child having had a traumatic childhood. Ratna anchored her. Also Ratna made no distinction between my mother and her’s (late actor Dina Pathak).”

No kidding

While the past year has been tough on the couple with their son, Imaad Shah, having met with a train accident, it brought the two even closer. “Imaad’s accident was harrowing, but it was so major that you had to deal with it. It made me grow up,” says Ratna.

Ratna admits that she’s not ‘a friend’ to her children (including daughter Heeba, and sons Imaad and Vivaan) and does have ‘fights’ with them. But she affirms, “I like the people they are. What they want is not the biggest car or the flashiest mobile or a jet set lifestyle. They don’t want us to launch them either.”

An ‘old’ attraction

Years ago, a young Ratna felt possessive about Naseer, but today she laughs it off saying, “The old ladies drool over him and he drools over the whitehaired ladies.” Quiz her if she’d like to change something about him and she says, “If he changes too much he won’t be the known devil that he is or be half as interesting.”

Performer vs person

This May, the couple’s theatre company Motley, which is entering its 30th year, will be holding a festival. Ratna, an avid devotee of Naseer’s art says, “He looks at life from the point of view as an actor. He has not accepted any definition and has created his own path.”

While Naseer has the say if it’s to do with the ‘mechanics of the job’ he credits ‘organisation’ to Ratna even as he confesses to having ‘some rollicking fights with her!

But the ‘sentimental’ Naseer has his own way of complimenting Ratna.

“Once when he returned after a long shooting spell in London, I caught him staring at me. He said he felt he was seeing me for the first time. Such a comment, 16 years after marriage, seemed interesting,” she shares.

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