When we talk of ‘low sexual desire,’ we are talking of a lack of interest in sex. Without desire, there is little or no biological motivation to be sexual. Individuals without a sex drive do not understand why they are not interested, and might not even know what it is that’s missing. They feel powerless when expected to want sex.

When the level of sexual desire is down, a person’s lack of interest can create serious problems within a relationship. Experts say, think of sexual desire as a hunger. If a person is hungry for food, he or she will be motivated to eat, will enjoy eating, and will be satisfied once having eaten his or her fill.

The sexual drive is also a biological hunger that motivates behaviour, influences thoughts, and invades fantasies.

Who has low desire?

The answer the question seems easy. Everyone has low desire, at times. If a person is depressed or temporarily ill, his or her sexual drive is likely to drop. Immediately after being sexually satisfied, desire fades. During a pregnancy, some women lose their sexual appetite. The other question to ask is, ‘How much desire is enough?’

The answer is it all depends on the partner’s level of desire. If one partner would like to be sexual twice a week, but the other would like sex four times a week, there might be just as much tension in that relationship as when one partner is totally disinterested and the other feels amorous every third Saturday morning.

All too often we confuse sexual desire with emotional love. But any one of the three phases – desire, arousal and orgasm can occur independently, without all the phases happening. There can also be arousal and even orgasm without being driven by desire.

Can one increase sexual desire?

A person, who has felt desire but then has lost it, is likely to miss the feelings and want to pursue change. On the other hand, a person with chronically low desire does not, in essence, know what it is he or she is missing and is less likely feel motivated.

There is hope, however, for the many woman who will benefit from testosterone. If a woman’s testosterone levels are found to be low, her physician can prescribe hormonal supplements in the form of a pill. If levels are not low, a testosterone cream might be prescribed. A post-menopausal woman on hormone replacement therapy can be give a pill that combines both her estrogen and testosterone. But any of these must be had in consultation with a physician.